Exams: How to ace them.

We have our first set of exams this week. The thing about this is that its not the normal “Lock those fools up in class and make them suffer” type of exam. We have to go home and write a paper. The questions are of the type I do not like; the almighty “Write an academic paper” kind. I mean, why couldn’t we have been told to make a Papiermâché world showing “Respatialization of social life”?

Henrik Holmes, our professor, gave questions today and while a couple of people were panicking and others looked absolutely positive, I was in my normal dazed world. Like, how do i start?! So i plugged in my earphones and walked home.

I got to my room and started stress eating. I needed that kinda inspiration to start. Meanwhile, i just though of how we (Mass Communication 2011, Covenant University, Nigeria) used to approach exams way back. It made me laugh.

******

1. Learn the timetable is out, print it out, make jokes, make copies and stick it up in front of our lockers.

2. Forget about the exams.

3. Start panicking 2 weeks to the exam. Organize tutorials attended by almost everyone or no one. BTW, no-one usually has a clue what is being said in the tutorial session.

4. Start getting innuendos from lecturers who were primed to make us pay for not attending classes or sleeping during lectures.

No one's parents cared to listen to them too.

No one’s parents cared to listen to them too.

5. ULTRA PANIC! Its exam night and most of the class is in academic limbo.

LMFAO!!!!. I had a couple of these moments.

LMFAO!!!!. I had a couple of these moments.

6. We usually ended up huddled 20- 25 people in 2-3 rooms, chewing unmade coffee, asking questions, thinking up mnemonic cues, having the ultimate tutorial and generally lamenting on why exams were the next day. We always promised ourselves “this” would never happen again.

Hehe! Me before all the exams.

Hehe! Us before all the exams.

 

7. Stagger to class yawning. Look blank/panic for the first 10 minutes after exam sheets were shared.

These questions do not look like what i read!

These questions do not look like what i read!

8. Collective competition for the fastest written and most illegible exam script. A typical exam sheet was twelve pages long and people filled them and collected extra sheets.  We usually wrote 12-18  freaking sheets in all for a two hour exam!

Typical Mass comm exam sheet. Don't ask how lectures were able to grade those.

Typical Mass comm exam sheet. Now, i wonder how lecturers marked those.

9. Almost argue with lecturer who wants his paper when the time’s up.

10. Depression and failure panic disorder sets in.

Most of us ended up like this after reviewing our answers.

Most of us ended up like this after reviewing our answers.

Most of the exam week, Mass comm chicks had bags under their eyes.

Your sexy Mass comm girlfriend during exams. Not so sexy now, is she?

Your sexy Mass comm girlfriend during exams. Not so sexy now, is she?

But most people aced exams too. We always passed best when working under pressure, that’s why we did most of our assignments the night before submission…. at least, that’s what we told ourselves.

And yes, all of us turned out excellently; with the best grades in the College of Human development and after graduation, if you were wondering.

And yes, some people ended up like this.

And yes, some people ended up like this.

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