The cardboard box called Arik Air

I laze about online when I have some MB to spare. It’s no secret that we Android users are almost afraid to turn on our data. I mean, I count mine -10mb per day, 20mb on days when I’m a good girl. Sadly, I never make it past the 14th day, no matter what data plan was paid for.

Anyway, that’s not the issue. Yesterday was one of my 20mb days and I went on Bella Naija to smirk at celebrity mess-ups and mash-ups. An hour into my stuff, I saw a story about Arik air and I opened it.

First, you should know I’m claustrophobic. Second, I have a phobia for heights. You know those people who cry and pray on flights? I’m the president of that group. We have a tradition where we kiss the tarmac and roll on it after we land. Bottom line, I dislike planes. The report below makes it worse.

Flying in style : A case study of Arik Air.

The airline’s air conditioning went off. People started panicking, fainting and they had to open a strip club “Volcano heights” to save themselves.

Singer, Banky W, was on the flight. The sexy singer’s bald head first was a  shining beacon of hope to the dying passengers. He finally decided on a career choice as a bouncer/mediator at V.H and almost got into a fight. Guess he didn’t feel like being a light fixture anymore. The pictures showing his gleaming orb speak differently though…

If you think I told this story in a rambling, incoherent form; I wish claustrophobia on you!. Stop ranting. Read the “full” story here.

********

There is a video of this madness but I couldn’t watch that. I mean, I had already fainted from reading the story…watching the video would kill my data me.

Me, I’m too lazy to advocate for #TeamBoycottArik, but I’d better not have a cause to fly Arik. My ghost would haunt their flights after I die from a panic attack. Maybe, I’ll just strap myself inside the tyre hold during the flight. At least, I’d have plenty air and space there.

Shit! Just remembered. I’m still scared of heights.

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