The problem is not failure. The problem is the fear of failure.
July 2011 marked the end of the precious time I wasted studying in the university. I hated school and I’m sure it felt the same way about me. As I rounded up my finals, it hit me that I still didn’t know what I wanted to do after college. Many of my mass communication classmates had found their niche and some had started jobs. Many of them had paired up and made agreements to form companies after graduation.
Morayo, my roomate, wanted to be a photographer, Ajifa wanted to be a professional dancer (not that type, you perv!) and Tope wanted to go into advertising. Most of my classmates claimed they had known what careers to go for as they came out of the womb. Others just said what they had chosen felt right to them.
I asked my friend, Moyin, how she knew she wanted to be a Public relations guru.
She had done an online career test and it had pointed her in the right direction!.
Since a career didn’t choose me and I couldn’t chose one, i thought maybe taking the online test might produce some sensible career for me. Maybe, just maybe, it would tell me I was destined to be a DJ (I’ve always joked about becoming one).
It took me two days to get to it. Guess what? I learnt the job most suitable for me was lecturing. That’s not a bad thing, but the fact that I hate tutoring people made the result sound daft.
I wandered around dreading graduation day. After then what next?.
Would I be one of those people who dreaded going to work; who didn’t like their jobs and couldn’t change jobs because they couldn’t figure out what job they’d get satisfaction from?
I was scared.
Scared that after my parents had spent so much on my education, I’d disappoint them. Scared that I’d lead a listless life. Scared that I was the only one of the 65 graduating students in my course without a future.
I got so worked up that I decided to pray about it. So I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Not in the prayer warrior style, but in the “Ohh Lord help me. This is your career-less child speaking. HELP ME OR I SHALL DISTURB YOU EVERYDAY!!!!!” style.
Two weeks to grad, I decided to wash all my clothes and start packing up. After hanging them, I started walking back to the gossip spot that was my room. I had barely taken ten steps away from bathroom when it hit me. You know when someone has a quick vision in movies?. Yeah, it happened to me. I stood rooted to a spot and in less than 3 seconds, i saw what I needed to do and how I would be famous. I was amazed. God had answered my prayer. For the first time, I knew what exactly I would do with my life.
I finished my voluntary youth service in 2012 and I now have a job. My job is amazing and I enjoy working there but it has nothing to do with what I saw that day.
I still have that vision stamped in my heart. Scenes from my path to greatness plays like a movie in my head. I know exactly what to do and how it’d end.
But there’s just an itsy bitsy problem….
I have to take that first step.