Tiffany rings and Ferrero rocher.

I let her control me; not because she can, but because it makes her feel safe.
-Tom scavo.

Today is valentines day. YAY.
Niggas be wearing the trademark red and white colors. They look like beacons; not the kind that gives hope though, the kind that signals stupidity. Ahem…
Please forgive my harshness. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today + the fact that I might not get a Chirs Aire watch irks me.

Now, back to business.
I’m gonna talk about relationships today, seeing as every blog post I’ve read recently has a love based theme. See, I don’t want to seem like the odd one….

I work at an online shopping company and in the past month, most people (guys) have ordered rings and jewelry for their girlfriends and wives(Chicks are generally stingy and we don’t buy shit for vals day). It’s apparent that a lot of them are popping the question today. Their girls will probably scream a little or a lot, force some tears out, cover their faces, then say yes or no(Depending on how unfortunate the dude is).

For those dudes that will get a yes, congratulations already.
For those that will get the NO, please sell the ring and get some comfort food.

Dudes getting the “yes”,
I’ll let you in on a little sisterhood secret.
It’s the reason why she’ll say yes, the reason why she wants to be with you even though your ass is sorry and the reason why she doesn’t mind your annoying family……and friends.
You will be her last boyfriend (hopefully) and these are the reasons why she chose you and not samuel………

1. Potential
You don’t have a dime to your name and you’re still wondering why she’s dating you, right?. Wonder no further……
The topic says it all.
She knows you have potential. She sees how smart and hard-working you are and knows you’ll be on the forbes list one day. She knows you can take care of her and the kids. She knows you’re responsible and would rather die than not succeed.

She tells you not to buy that indian weave for her; not because she knows you can’t afford it but because she knows you’ll buy the weave factory for her when you’re rich.

Women have an uncanny way of knowing when a guy will be rich.
A. We have this “intuition” thing. We just know.
B. We were programmed by God to help you succeed. If we really want you to be rich…you will be filthy rich.
C. Also, sometimes we see you’ll be poor as a church-rat but we still stick around.
Why?…
Cuz we’re just silly like that.

2. You bring out the best in her.
NO!!!! (wtf does that statement even mean).
You do not bring out the best in her! That means she’s never acted her worst around you and you don’t know her well.

You do not bring out the best in her, okay?
What you do, is that you make her want to be the best her she can be.
Are you confused?
Let me make it simple for you.
YOU. MAKE. HER. WANT. TO. BE. THE. BEST. HER. SHE. CAN. BE.
I don’t understand it either…
Just go with the flow.
*grin*

3. Inner strength and understanding.
She’s gonna take that ring from you in that restaurant today because she THINKS (that illusion will last till you’re married) that you understand her.
You’re strong but not domineering. You’re in control but not her master. She can be vulnerable with you and she knows you won’t take advantage of this fact. You’re her pillar and rock and you’re not afraid to confide in her. Also, she trusts you and she knows you trust her too.

4.Respect.
-You do not talk bad about her.
-You tell her you love her all the time.
-You never downgrade her.
-You never resort to emotional abuse.
-You respect your mother and hers too.
-You respect her actions, her thoughts and her beliefs.
-You think and say she’s a genius and you’re not lying about it.
-You help her .
-You believe in her.
These are enough reasons to marry a dwarf….

5.Love
*Rolls eyes*
That shit exists right?
Ok…I’m kidding (In gardener’s voice from “Jack and jill”)

Women love passionately.
We wouldn’t be with you if we didn’t think you were the most awesome person (LIES) in the world. We feel its love cuz we really don’t know why we let you do shit and get away with it. We love you cuz we don’t know why we feel the way we do.

Love means different things to different people and is expressed in different ways. If she loves you, she’ll show it and the whole world will know it.
——-

If you’ve looked at all these and you know she isn’t marrying you for even one of these reasons, then you’re right.
IT IS YOUR MONEY she’s after…..
Or not.

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