It’s a miracle I passed my statistics course in the university.
Mum said the worst and most trying moment of her life was when she tried to teach me how to count and add. Now, I’m not a hare brained child but when it comes to figures, formula’s and calculations…my brain switches off.

I think somewhere in my head the cells start drooling when they see figures. Mum once narrated this scenario from my childhood:

MUM: 2+2 is 4.
Now, hold up two fingers and another two fingers. How many fingers do you have up?

ME: Four fingers.

MUM: Good! Clap for yourself.
(I clap happily and for an extended period of time)

(5minutes later)
MUM: Let’s revise our lesson. Remember to use your fingers to count. Six plus five is what?

ME: *Confused look on face* .emmmm…..

MUM: Use your fingers Dear.

ME: *Holds up hands and points to fingers*, one, two, three, four, five, six…..thirteen

MUM: *Lets out an unearthly wail*
(Whacks my back)

I don’t understand why she whacked me. I only have ten fingers after-all and counting with toes is not the same as counting with fingers.
How was I supposed to get it right?

Well, I did learn……to count and add that is. The other parts still elude me. I don’t know how people sit and actually solve a question. The only thing I think math is good for, is as a torture method at Kirikiri. I’d be like:
ME: Talk fool!
(Slaps detainee)
Where are the diamonds.

DETAINEE: I’ll never tell you! You’d have to kill me.

ME: Really……..?
*Turns to 2nd police officer*
Get me that book with Differential calculus questions.

DETAINEE: NOOO. PLS NO!!!!, I’ll tell you all I know. Nooooooo………….
(Screams fade out).



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