THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION IS NOT FICTION……
DAD AND FRIEND: “Good morning ma”.
ADMISSIONS OFFICER: “Good morning, how can i help you?”
DAD: “Madam we need you to do something for us”.
ADMISSIONS OFFICER: “Go ahead……”
DAD: (confidently adjusts tie), “My name is Mr XXXXXXXX john and my friend’s name is XXXX nwafor. We are looking for admission to your school.
ADMISSIONS OFFICER: “Ok, were are your Documents?. I’ll need your admission letter so i can confirm with the registry that your name came out in the admission list”
FRIEND: (looks at my dad fearfully),“Emm madam, that’s the thing. You are supposed to process the admission for us and include our name in the admission list”.
ADMISSIONS OFFICER: (removes glasses) “And when did i agree to help you do this?”. What is ……”
DAD: (rudely interrupts), ” Look! I want you to bring out the admission list and type our names. You will also go to the registry and inform the registrar that two more students have been added to the list. You will tell him that our names were mistakenly omitted before and now they have been re-added to the list”.
ADMISSIONS OFFICER: (Looks at my dad suspiciously): “Young man what are you talking about? Are you okay”?.
At this point dad’s friend inches back slowly. He tries to drag dad with him but pops is determined to “command” the lady. Dad puts his hand in his trouser pocket and rubs the ring furiously while talking at the top of his voice.
2 minutes later, amidst incoherent bursts of speech from my dad for the admissions lady to obey his orders, pops was carried out by security. He was deposited on the steps of the admission building and watched warily by the burly security guards who stood at the entrance to prevent further entry by the “mad man” they had just carried out. Dad’s friend was nowhere to be seen. He had quietly exited the scene when he had heard the lady call for security. He slowly approached dad who looked at him in rage. Popsy stood up from the steps and somewhere in his mind made a plot to kill “Dr Mbaji”. He pulled of the ring, spat out the stone and proceeded to stomp on it. The security guards inched closer. He decided that the plot would of course be carried out when they had more free time on their hands after gaining admission somewhere…….anywhere.
Well Dr Mbaji was never killed and thankfully pops and his friend gained admission to UNN (University of Nigeria, Nsukka) during their admission process a month later. He was too busy settling in and thinking of how he would become the village golden boy to think of murder. Besides, he decided he wouldn’t want to get arrested at this point.