NIM PALAVA

6th July, 2012
Dear Diary,
i just tried to pack my handbag for the NIM (nigerian institute of management) exams i have tomorrow. I just realized my ID card and exam slip are no where to be found (Throwing clothes everywhere and sweating profusely). I have rearranged my stuff severally and now i’m doing a step by step drama of my actions for the past 7hours. This is an attempt to remember if i dropped it somewhere. Did i leave it in the cab? (body freezes) nahhhh!!!!!
Oh wait! i just realized where it is (sits down on the floor). Dammit! i left them in my wallet which is presently in my Uncle’s house in Port Harcourt! Now i think to myself how stupid my grand plan to lessen my luggage was. I had suddenly realized my wallet was huge and in a bid to lessen my luggage, i removed my ATM cards and money. I had told myself, “Damn your so smart, who would have thought of doing this”, shut my door and bounded out to look for a cab to take me to bayelsa. I would go get the wallet right now but emmmm…..Port Harcourt is in another state and takes like 2hours to get to.
(Tears start gathering in my eyes). Dear diary, please do not let anybody know that i traveled for an exam and forgot the necessary documents for it. That is equivalent to trying to pass airport security without a passport (covers face).  What to do, WHAT TO DO?!!!!!!!
Ok! since the exam is tomorrow, I’ll travel early in the morning and get it. The exam is for twelve and if i travel very early i’ll make it back quick.
7th july, 2012
EARLY IN THE MORNING………
Alarm rings (wake up lazy bones, its 5:00 am). Yawnnnnn….. diary can i just sleep for 10 more minutes. I read till 3 o’clock, am so tired. (switches off alarm and sets it for 6am).
 6:00am
ALARM RINGING FRANTICALLY!!! (thinking in my subconscious, “that ringing sound sounds familiar, what is it?) Diary, am too tired to find out what is ringing, maybe there’s a bell tower in my dream. (SNORE!!!) Going back to sleep.These covers are soo warm.
8:00am
“MyGod!!! (jumps up from bed), i’m doomed. i have to do rub and shine and rush out!!(running into the bathroom).
12:00
This has to be the slowest bike in the world! I managed to get to ph and get my stuff and now this guy is chatting and driving slowly. I want to push him off the bike and drive at 500 km/ hr!. GRRRRRRR…….(angry smiley)! Solomon and Adeola have sent me messages that the questions are about to be shared and that was 10 minutes ago!.
7:00pm
Diary, i finally made it to the class at 12:20. I muttered some arrant nonsense to the invigilator about being in an accident and managing to escape with my life. He allowed me in and as i sat down, my tummy rumbled and It was not from hunger pangs. I had been having tummy ache since i left for PH and was supposed to use the toilet when i got to my uncle’s house. Well i forgot to do that because i was in such a hurry. This just had to start in the hall? (wiping pooling sweat). At least i got into the exam hall,i was grateful to God for that. I was determined to write the exam even if the hounds of hell showed up. TUMMY RUMBLING………….
All i can say is that i didn’t notice if the exam was hard or not, i concentrated on finishing and getting the hell out of there. I must be more careful next time.

2 thoughts on “NIM PALAVA

    • Hilarious….well,if u say It is I should accept #grabbin the trophy for “most hilarious life” out of ur hand#. Thank you. Thank u very much #in elvis presley’s voice#

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